https://www.diaryofadivorcee.com/memoirs-of-a-dating-divorcee daily 0.75 2023-08-02 https://www.diaryofadivorcee.com/memoirs-of-a-dating-divorcee/chapter1 monthly 0.5 2021-08-20 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1629490497947-ANIKCKENP21PHXIEPZ2C/IMG_9465.JPG Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 1: Dating in the Grey That is when I met Mr. Grey. Mr. Grey wasn’t the kind of guy that I would normally entertain. He was 6 years my junior, relatively short with large hands and feet. He had an average build with reddish brown hair that was salted with grey. The grey hair was the most mature thing about his look. His voice was deep, sexy and had a hint of a southern twang. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1629479752082-ANBQHHMYR81UERJSJDBS/Copy+of+Diaryofadivorcee.com-2.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 1: Dating in the Grey - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1629491562308-L0GG1RDKHRE98BZCCL7J/Screen+Shot+2021-08-20+at+1.31.52+PM.png Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 1: Dating in the Grey We arrived at the skating rink, put on our skates and began pretending like we were 12 again. He brought his own rollerblades. He surprised me, yet again, with his maneuvering on inline skates. He was turning and twisting like an iceskating champion, movements that could only be trumped by a triple toe loop. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1629490649725-D7VSYB15KQSPQRTH8MMG/output_image1629480769343.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 1: Dating in the Grey As the sun slowly vanished, I turned to look at him. He wasn’t afraid to look me in the eyes, even if we were only inches apart. His approach was steady and he never took his eyes off mine. Our lips met and there was no learning curve. His kiss was firm but his mouth was soft, gentle yet manly. We stayed there for a while; talking, kissing and watching the color of the sky change. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1629491189558-FZH22VLAP6TEMFXRV6O5/IMG_0303.JPG Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 1: Dating in the Grey Without turning this story into something only viewable with a paid subscription, I will admit that I underestimated him. There was something about him that was intoxicating and he made my experience incredibly enjoyable. But that didn’t stop me from wanting to run. After all, “I am not that woman”. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1629491833222-G8AC6UXD33YQ7ZY7YK0A/IMG_9793.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 1: Dating in the Grey Mr. Grey was onto something. It was unconventional yet exciting. The conversation had an impact on me; so much so, that I decided that I wasn’t gonna end things with him. Instead, I was going to try his way of dating. I was going to “date in the grey” and in the process, write about the experience. So here I am, taking a vow to “commit to no commitment” for the next 6 months. https://www.diaryofadivorcee.com/memoirs-of-a-dating-divorcee/chapter2rulesofengagement monthly 0.5 2021-08-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1630290952818-WV0B45NNI0EU2MVXS3YI/IMG_0612.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 2: Rules of Engagement I looked through the cluster of hangers that carried all of my favorite maxi dresses. I chose an olive green strapless maxi dress from a nearby hanger. I stepped into it and wiggled it up my body until it was perfectly placed. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1630299975112-Q72F6ZRY094Q0JBVPWV1/IMG_0264+2.JPG Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 2: Rules of Engagement When Mr. Grey returned from his vacation, he asked to see me and I obliged his beckoning. We had magnetism that was beyond chemistry. I wanted to see him, to feel that feeling when he touched me. I wanted to experience the magic of his push and pull effect that always kept me guessing. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1630299947803-K1CK6LWBMQ18FB29WZCM/IMG_0264+2.JPG Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 2: Rules of Engagement Mr. Grey and I were becoming fast friends and lovers. With the other men I was dating, I have to slowly introduce the idea of “Dating in the Grey” and hope they are on board with my commitment to no commitment. But with Mr. Grey, he was the founder of this idea so there were no surprises between us. My perception of him changed the minute he took the pressure of a relationship off the table. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1630287300849-81GK65IWK9KDBPMS7WRH/IMG_0201.JPG Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 2: Rules of Engagement And today’s exploration was a hike date with the Lifeguard. I was meeting him at Malibu Canyon State Park, a popular hiking spot that was halfway between the beach and the valley. I got in my car and drove down the curvy mountain road. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1630298428859-JJJX2SZZX8HRMUCIZCW4/D7B8818F-01CB-491C-80ED-8FD7B931B8D8.JPG Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 2: Rules of Engagement - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1630287050912-05GQECGJL2WUCQBA6D7V/IMG_0198.JPG Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 2: Rules of Engagement I threw on a cute pair of bike shorts, a matching sports bra and a shirt to cover up my voluptuousness. I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked good for being 42. My hair was the color of copper; reddish brown hues with the sun turning the ends as orange as a sunset. I had the body that looked like I was 20 years old from afar but still had the reminders of childbirth just below the surface. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1630298342086-518VT54NEVKXZBH9LYLQ/IMG_0367.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 2: Rules of Engagement - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1630286607590-GNA45VWLHBXRELM3DDJK/IMG_0625.JPG Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 2: Rules of Engagement - That is when our gazes met, me and my reflection, and I repeated the mantra, “look at your whole self, not just the parts you don’t like”. I took a big deep breath while I took in my entire being. I saw myself differently now. Not just a collage of unworthy pieces. I saw my smile, my eyes, my spirit, my accomplishment, my drive, my hard work. I saw me. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1630287144238-1KAC72R66Q7CZB8QEIL4/Www.diaryofadivorcee.com-2.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 2: Rules of Engagement - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1630287877609-7P1W4FIKD4AJCFDJOVJU/Untitled+design.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 2: Rules of Engagement We sat inside the vehicle for a while; chatting about the mechanics of the car and our personal experience with the show MASH. My body was twisted so that I could look at him from the front seat. He was sitting on the small seat on the wheel well. I had lost his gaze and he was now talking to the side of the truck. This might be a very long hike and an even longer date. https://www.diaryofadivorcee.com/memoirs-of-a-dating-divorcee/chapter-3-dating-mr-grey monthly 0.5 2021-09-10 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1631254502797-IUF5JNUKNR32ICPFV6TE/IMG_8244.JPG Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 3: Dating Mr. Grey I don’t know why but instead of closing myself off to him, I opened up more. “My sister almost died of the same thing. She had to have open heart surgery in 2016 to repair her heart. It wasn’t until then that we learned that heart defects are hereditary in our family. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1631239903180-3Z82BAXQTQB7RHN1P1ZD/Copy+of+Www.diaryofadivorcee.com-6.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 3: Dating Mr. Grey - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1631254328614-KOPJCZ94ARYZ1LQSEUQC/IMG_0944.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 3: Dating Mr. Grey “My dad died when I was really young. He had a heart attack too. He was only 29 years old” I blurted out. Almost instantly, I felt completely exposed. I nervously bit into my sandwich, hoping he would change the subject so I didn’t have to feel so open and raw. I looked at him from the side of my eye and he acted like he didn’t even hear me. Whew, thank goodness. “Really? I’m sorry”, he said as looked me dead in the eyes. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1631254087028-4EADO2S20U50HQZWRN4G/IMG_0943.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 3: Dating Mr. Grey I wasn’t much of a dog person, but Benny was a good dog. I liked him. I think a dog says a lot about their owner and Benny was a lot like Mr. Grey. He was calm, cool and collected. He was a good listener but could get wild when provoked. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1631254686181-R1YFMJU8YJ590ICKZD1E/IMG_8537.JPG Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 3: Dating Mr. Grey - “And my mom died too. She had a heart attack after fighting cancer for three years.” I wish I could catch the words in the air and put them back in my mouth. I didn’t want him to see me like this. I wanted him to see the sexy, confident, ambitious woman that I am. I didn’t want him to see me on the verge of tears while I talked about some of my greatest heartbreaks. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1631253893335-Q0ZMRE33ZDDXY9ZRRFRW/IMG_9834+2.JPG Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 3: Dating Mr. Grey I started to rummage through my lingerie drawer, looking for something to wear under the fitted black dress I had chosen for tonight’s date. I found a lacy black bra that had bondage like straps around my breasts. The panties were nearly nonexistent. The straps of the bra peeked out of the top of the dress, making it seem like the straps belonged to the dress instead of the neglige. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1631255080657-06PRHCBEQKPKY44NW5FW/IMG_9834+2.JPG Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 3: Dating Mr. Grey I gracefully stood in front of him, locking eyes without abandonment. He wasn’t afraid of my gaze. My eyes didn’t move as my hand searched for my zipper. A gentle tug began to reveal the shortcomings of my dress and reveal the surprise of my skin. The straps of my dress fell past my shoulders as the bodice loosened. I saw his eyes shift from my gaze to my body. Taking me in as I continued my unveiling. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1631255286653-JK9WW71ZP3DOK465UJHH/IMG_0410.JPG Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 3: Dating Mr. Grey Unlike other relationships I have had, sex with him is not lifeless. It doesn’t feel like a series of predetermined movements that end with a moan and a collapse. He has a procedure but it doesn’t start in the bedroom. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1631254834982-RC7Q0101E2L3VBLXSNGH/IMG_0268+2.JPG Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 3: Dating Mr. Grey - I put on a wide brimmed hat that made me look like I was on my way to a Kentucky Derby and I followed him outside. He led me down a familiar path that steadily climbed up the side of a mountain. Shortly after we started, we arrived at the picnic bench from our second date. We sat and he brought out a bottle of wine he had hidden in his backpack and poured us each a glass. As we sat and sipped, he suddenly surprised me by saying, “go stand in front of the sunset and let me take a picture of you.”. It was a simple gesture but one that meant something to me. https://www.diaryofadivorcee.com/memoirs-of-a-dating-divorcee/chapter-4-rocker-chick monthly 0.5 2021-09-26 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1632679809403-EE1NZZQAS9KAV9O7CB57/IMG_1186.JPG Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 4: Rocker Chick I have had many suitors that have volunteered to be my one and only. Many of them were smart, accomplished, attractive, and completely adored me. But I was never able to settle into the comfort of a relationship after my divorce. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1632679212714-AJ611KD65EVN86EJFXVO/IMG_1189.JPG Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 4: Rocker Chick - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1632679471074-KC9KEPCC9RFT0XH3X6I3/IMG_1149.JPG Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 4: Rocker Chick - As the morning sun shined through my bedroom window, a feeling of excitement and dread creeped over my heart. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1632680075509-STGNR0TXNXG5ZCT3VNLC/IMG_1185.JPG Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 4: Rocker Chick I have never felt like I couldn’t find the words to describe my feelings until that moment. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to drag him out of that bar. I wanted to hit him in a fit of rage. I wanted him to choose me. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1632683438260-UIJK24J938Y4SS1N0DI9/IMG_1151+2.JPG Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 4: Rocker Chick The pattern of his behavior was deteriorating my self-worth and my self-esteem. It was eating away at my insides and making me feel empty. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1632681800575-F4KCOGY8JTTMZFGJE7YL/IMG_0655.JPG Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 4: Rocker Chick The sun was setting on the horizon when we arrived to our destination. At first, I was confused by the landscape. We were on top of what seemed like a mountain plateau. The view of the skyline looked like cotton candy with hues of pink and purple on the horizon https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1632750889616-5IEVLAC9BDQE1F1CMSQO/IMG_0645+3.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 4: Rocker Chick In moments like these, it didn’t feel like there was anyone else in his life but me. I was starting to see a pattern in our unconventional relationship. He would lure me in with his seldom sweetness where he would surprise me with outside adventures and cook me special meals that he invented. https://www.diaryofadivorcee.com/memoirs-of-a-dating-divorcee/chapter-5-the-writer monthly 0.5 2021-11-04 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1635482787918-9CV0QDQ98PJ82M81IR51/IMG_0189_jpg.JPG Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 5: The Writer My book of dating poetry would be called “So many men, so little time” and it would go something like this… There are tall guys, short guys, brunettes, and blondes. Smart guys and dumb guys and the list is long. But dating for forever, is not my bag of tea. Cause I only want someone who is right for me. “You are such a ding dong,” I chuckle as I laugh at my Dr. Seuss-like dating description. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1635483650290-VUHDPEU5B4MCIO8J41DM/IMG_0143.JPG Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 5: The Writer With the intention of keeping the conversation light and fun, and being that I am on a poetry kick, I randomly decided to write him a poem of my past. “Once upon a time, there was a girl from Florida. Who had red hair and drove a Toyota She came to LA, to live out her dreams Got married and said, this ain’t working for me. So she got divorced and decided from then, That she would never get married again. And then she lived happily ever after.” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1635485669768-6JYR30KB7673SFOZ7JEI/IMG_0138.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 5: The Writer I wanted to represent my sense of style while still remaining comfortable since we would be walking a lot. I chose a flowy, short, flowered sundress that showed off my slender physique without showing too much. I paired the dress with a pair of white, low top Converse. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/eacc41d0-806a-4fff-97e1-83417c639ae9/imagejpeg_0.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 5: The Writer I am not opposed to dating other people and I would like to continue to do so. But I want an elevated man. A man who knows HIS value. A man who uses his skills to make a woman feel beautiful and wanted but he also doesn’t use her for himself. He is judicious in who he brings into his bed, knowing that he may never find better than who currently warms it. He isn’t dating to fuck. He is dating to make sure that he has made the right choice. And if he meets someone who takes her place, then it will be a hard conversation. But life is full of hard conversations. But what if he doesn’t? What if he spends the time searching only to realize that he has everything he ever wanted? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/1635482471880-9P0W7UTAR6GH1TD3EWCD/Copy+of+Copy+of+Www.diaryofadivorcee.com.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 5: The Writer - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.diaryofadivorcee.com/memoirs-of-a-dating-divorcee/chapter-6-a-new-man monthly 0.5 2021-11-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/b29ff6ae-ba17-4bc2-909f-253891753b56/Copy+of+Copy+of+Copy+of+Www.diaryofadivorcee.com-6.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 6: A New Man - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/2f7f6013-4607-49c6-a8af-59bdb61309d1/IMG_1060.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 6: A New Man I went to the empty bar and took a seat and marveled at that beautiful market lights and greenery that decorated the premises. After not even a minute, I became impatient and texted him. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/637ccbd1-6272-45d2-a2f1-6861be75f6bf/IMG_1369_jpg+3.JPG Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 6: A New Man Even though Mr. Grey was the impetus of this journey, I was turning a cold shoulder towards him. I wanted wanted to him to be something that he wasn’t; a respectable man who could have any woman he wanted but chose only the right ones. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/7d590fff-362f-4791-be1e-a6ce89926906/IMG_1053.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 6: A New Man My goal with tonight’s ensemble had given the reaction I was looking for. My form fitting green dress hugged my curves perfectly and the green accented my tan skin and auburn hair. I paired the dress with knee high, tan, suede boots, which made me appear statuesque compared to my usual 5’4 frame but I still dwarfed him considerably. https://www.diaryofadivorcee.com/memoirs-of-a-dating-divorcee/chapter-7-the-truth-will-set-you-free monthly 0.5 2022-02-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/76d1254a-b4c2-47d6-8738-754aa68055e0/IMG_0201.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 7: The Truth Will Set You Free - Saturday morning arrived and I headed to Koreatown to meet the Writer. I pulled into the driveway like the VIP that I was and noticed I accidentally ran over part of his planter. Crap. I hope he doesn’t notice but I wasn’t about to run over it again, so I left my car where it was. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/3094e5de-64b2-478d-bb7c-b83a7c53b174/IMG_1473.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 7: The Truth Will Set You Free We entered the venue and we were both taken back by the expansiveness of the lobby and the detail of the architecture. “It has been such a long time since I have been here, I forgot how beautiful it is” I said. We stood in the lobby and marveled at the carved wood ceilings and the massive double staircase. When I saw a selfie station where we could take a photo, I made him pose with me to remember the night. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/03626405-d0b5-4dc9-b2b7-394d291104a5/IMG_1462.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 7: The Truth Will Set You Free - As we walked toward the venue, I pointed to the brightly lit sign that said “The Wiltern”. “That’s where we are going. It is one of the popular venues in LA to see music and the architecture inside is really beautiful. I can’t wait for you to see it” I told Mr. Grey Mr Grey started snapping photos like he was a tourist and I felt satisfied in being his personal tour guide. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/6a6d7ddd-41ca-4730-8daa-af8aacc22288/Copy+of+Copy+of+Copy+of+Copy+of+Www.diaryofadivorcee.com.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 7: The Truth Will Set You Free - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/9cb242f9-cba1-47ee-8970-df16d2bac797/IMG_1471.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 7: The Truth Will Set You Free We sat there for the next several hours, listening to a random band whose one familiar song they still hadn’t played. After each song, we would lean together and give our thumbs up or thumbs down review. “I don’t think they are going to play the one song I know”, I said with a disappointed face. And just then, as if my words went straight to the stage, the band started playing the song that brought us here. “This is it!! This is the song I know!” I said with glee. “See, I knew they would play it”, Mr. Grey said. https://www.diaryofadivorcee.com/memoirs-of-a-dating-divorcee/chapter-8-the-verdict monthly 0.5 2022-02-24 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/dc52ab99-22c0-44d7-bc25-aab1be8a400f/IMG_4199.JPG Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 8: The Verdict - As the days wore on, his communication continued but his tone changed. He started sending me photos of sunsets with captions saying “the best part of Florida” and then a photo of an overweight person in a bathing suit length that was comparable to his own, that said, “and the worst part”. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/ae94b43f-7728-4415-8c37-b9ea14b84b63/IMG_20220223_163427.JPG Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 8: The Verdict - Mr. Grey once said, “Everyone has fucked up shit. It is about finding the person whose fucked up shit aligns with your fucked up shit”. For this reason, I was beginning to believe we were perfect together. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/aab5c7ae-3538-4f13-a0b6-9cc9aa1a141d/D6E3009B-8F9E-423A-9A51-ADE4838C8847.PNG Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 8: The Verdict - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/c3415308-3214-4dbf-973a-82e537921004/IMG_20220223_163328.JPG Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 8: The Verdict - “Alright, I am all set up at my desk. I have a cup of coffee in the corner so I can sip on it . I am wearing my black button down dress shirt, cause it shows off my muscles. Image is a non-verbal cue of confidence” he said, trying to hide his nerves with arrogance. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/401e5cbf-4acc-4d7f-8267-1931ebff9e91/IMG_4197.JPG Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 8: The Verdict - I didn’t expect to hear from the Writer while he was away and I was surprised when he texted me about his arrival in Miami. He prided himself as a man who shied away from photos and phone time, but uncharacteristically sent me photos of the Miami city lights. “Landed in Miami. This doesn’t suck”, was his message accompanying the photo. https://www.diaryofadivorcee.com/memoirs-of-a-dating-divorcee/yeli2er6m7q2vb1z5zx1e1245tnb5q monthly 0.5 2022-06-22 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/53d522c5-ec22-4126-baa5-9a6388bb4d1b/Copy+of+Copy+of+Copy+of+Copy+of+Copy+of+Copy+of+Copy+of+Www.diaryofadivorcee.com.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 9: Will He Stay or Will He Go? - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/c097b636-9aa2-46b5-91a1-605e03e48265/IMG_0644.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 9: Will He Stay or Will He Go? I kept my soft hands, wrapped around his face and I kissed him in a way that I didn’t kiss him often. It wasn’t full of passion and chemistry. This kiss was full of love and acceptance. The kind of kiss that feels like a hello and a goodbye at the same time. And as our lips parted and I looked in his eyes again, he gave me his boyish grin and said, “That job is mine” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/199c2019-0371-4d7a-8e43-a61d08d5e269/IMG_1441.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 9: Will He Stay or Will He Go? As he took a bite of the pistachio pie we ordered, he leaned his head back in ecstasy. I knew that look but usually it came from private moments together; not in a restaurant full of people. I kept thinking about this new feeling I was sensing from him and I was eager to get to the root of it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/da5999f1-89ff-45bd-be9d-2b9a0fab6157/IMG_3508+2.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 9: Will He Stay or Will He Go? The next revelation comes at the risk of judgement and concern from you as a reader. It is something that I have thought long and hard and debated whether I wanted to talk about. But if this story is about being honest and telling a true and authentic story, I must be brave enough to talk about the parts that scare me. So here I go. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/3d36d48e-083b-4531-8e70-9351fc33a8e0/IMG_1413.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 9: Will He Stay or Will He Go? “You are beautiful”, he said and I blushed immediately. Grey was not the type of guy to give compliments often, but when he does, I soak them in because I know how special they are. We got in the car and I sensed a different energy in him. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/be4a0813-72f8-49e9-a461-12fd51bb44b1/IMG_1415.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 9: Will He Stay or Will He Go? We drove down Sunset Boulevard as I verbalized all of the LA history I knew. And when I ran out of my tour guide jargon, we arrived at the West Hollywood Hotel where our night was scheduled to begin. As I pulled through valet, I gathered my things and watched the shock and awe cover Mr. Grey’s face. The exterior of the hotel was modern with clean lines and a group of upper class thirty-somethings gathered by the stream of cars that were coming and going. As the valet opened our doors, we stepped out and entered through the large doors that were almost too heavy to open. a https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/c107f18a-8185-4d4a-8c27-1f523a51c484/IMG_4016+2.JPG Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 9: Will He Stay or Will He Go? It wasn’t the type of relationship I ever pictured for myself. There were several moments where I wanted to throw in the towel and “block and delete” him from my life. But each time I waffled with the decision to “stay or go”, there was something that always kept me from closing the door entirely. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/d888a4eb-1be6-4253-bd00-96d14c685b46/IMG_1537.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 9: Will He Stay or Will He Go? I arrived at the coffee shop and there was a line out the door. I walked up and down the sidewalk, trying to recognize her not so familiar face. This was a new experience. I didn’t think about how women can camouflage themselves with makeup and flashy clothing. I thought I knew what she looked like but scanning the line, I was unsure. But since no one looked at me with any recognition, I came to the conclusion that she was not there so I grabbed a spot in line. The line moved as slow as my texting and when I reached the spot where I had to decide what to order, I thought I was being stood up. She was considerably late and I was prepared to order a coffee for one. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/95e2f628-0f1f-41db-8c07-7f8c926cc44a/IMG_1424.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 9: Will He Stay or Will He Go? Without a single hesitation, we were moved to the exact location I was hoping for. I tried my best to hide my enthusiasm but it was bubbling out of me like mentos in a coke bottle. Grey and I ordered some fancy cocktails and a few vegan dishes to munch on while we sat back in silence and took in the world around us. “Isn’t this beautiful?” I asked, as if I was saying it to myself and to him. “I have never seen anything like it”, he responded. The look on his face was more priceless than the view. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/48bea727-1b49-46ef-8771-f9c259d1729d/IMG_4394.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 9: Will He Stay or Will He Go? In a way, I was relieved that he might leave. I know that sounds ridiculous to say after my “I don’t want him to go” tirade. But the other part of me, the part that was scared to love somebody; the part that was scared of being hurt or rejected or tossed aside for a new shiny object; the part that didn’t want to give up my freedom to date and explore; that was the part that made me feel like this would be a good thing. It would allow a natural closure to a relationship that I wasn’t ready to end. Maybe it would allow me to let go in a way that was less painful; a way that would allow us to still remain friends and maintain some semblance of a relationship that didn’t include a dramatic exit followed by a hate text. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/000d0391-bae3-40a0-97dc-64d2f5a2297e/IMG_1412.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 9: Will He Stay or Will He Go? A memorable night is not just about the places you go but mostly about the company you keep. I had become great company for Mr. Grey over these last few months, but I wanted to feel strikingly beautiful on this occasion. I wanted him to look at me with those wild eyes like I was a slab of meat and he was starving. I knew just the dress that would create that effect; an olive green, backless dress that hugged my curves like a pair of Spanx. The strappy back and silkiness of the fabric required a complete commando interior. You could see my largest assets and could imagine the hidden gems, all tucked away behind a thin layer of material. https://www.diaryofadivorcee.com/memoirs-of-a-dating-divorcee/59vm3eate1u2flaazhryi6itfehwxn monthly 0.5 2022-09-08 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/e6e277b8-3919-439c-bc55-b3c7957008b3/Copy+of+Copy+of+Copy+of+Copy+of+Copy+of+Copy+of+Copy+of+Copy+of+Www.diaryofadivorcee.com.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 10: The End - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/813462a0-6c99-4c9c-81e9-c24bf64d3165/DK6A2736-20220807.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 10: The End - When I committed to this journey, I pictured a different ending; one filled with multitudes of suitors while I sat on a throne, trying to decide which one I would ride off into the sunset. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/99ada489-5709-4781-bbed-7d36f2529724/DK6A2633-20220807.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 10: The End As much as I was disappointed in the way things ended with Grey, I was grateful for the valuable lessons I gained from this experience. This chapter of my life allowed me to truly explore. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/217a627e-6f7d-4720-8e96-93e7e2785bb7/DK6A2730-20220807.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 10: The End - “Dating in the Grey” was an experiment for me but it was lawless territory. I had followed Grey’s structure, I figured out that he didn’t have all of the answers. He provided a philosophy but not a practice. I made it passed the six month mark of non-exclusive dating, what happens now? . https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/10889af7-ac63-448a-af73-e5aaa78fdd69/DK6A2647-20220807.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 10: The End One day, I will find a man to love me exactly the way I want and deserve. I am simply not at that part of the story….yet. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60e4a5da9682776c1b89629e/e57fc42e-90c5-42ac-9cf6-37be7304c954/IMG_9470.jpg Memoirs of a Dating Divorcee - Chapter 10: The End - Grey had done many things to hurt me and yet I always saw the good in him. I always hoped that his promises would lead to a commitment from a better man. It wasn’t until I heard the words “I didn’t think about you” that I realized I meant absolutely nothing to him. 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